The Shirtless Guy Theory

Since I have been here in Milwaukee for a month now, I have developed a theory and so far it has proven to be correct.
Here is the theory: I cannot go one day without seeing an out-of-shape white guy with his shirt off. They have no shame here. Hell, I even see them in billboard advertisements on 94. There is a sense of pride I guess in showing off your pale, paunchy bratwurst repository. You have to love it. There must be some sort of post-adolescent rite of passage here I'll never know about.
Regardless, you will frequently find a shirtless guy count on many of my posts, especially if I am writing about a festival I've been to. Who knows, there may even be a picture or two.

Polish Fest

Really, the festivals in Milwaukee are quite similar. They all involve the over-consumption of quality beer and some sort of sausage. Everything else is just a variation of the theme. This time it was me throwing my arms around an old Polish couple in their 70's and having a laugh while waiting in the Kielbasa line. I got a Polish plate, cheese pierogies, a 3/4 pound, 16-inch kielbasa served with 6 ounces of sauerkraut nestled in a one-pound loaf of bread sliced down the middle. Holy schnikes, I am going to gain a LOT of weight around here.

As I ate the best pierogie I ever had, I listened to the sound of 6 competing polka bands playing over each other and watched all of the out-of-shape, shirtless white guys milling around with Miller High Life in plastic cups. I started a shirtless guy count. Today it stood at 23. This simple, blue-collar midwest thing they have going is exactly what I love.

It's like my father-in-law said a week earlier as we went in to Turners on a Fish Fry Friday: "Jesus, it's like I walked into a Pieter Bruegel painting." I couldn't have described it better. These descendants from German, Belgium and Flemish immigrants were simply doing what their ancestors had done for hundreds of years: celebrating something or other with friends, family, hearty food and much drink. The whole place reeks of old-world Germany.

Right then I decided I had moved to the coolest place I could move to.
I knew it when we approached the gates to pay our admission and the guy behind the glass said, "Ah, take a couple of bucks off. The kid gets in free. Tell the guy at the gate that Johnny says it's o.k."

Milwaukee.

Where The Hell Are You?

I'll tell ya. Working on my tan while unemployed. I have been on a month-long sabbatical. I prefer to call it a sabbatical with options. Sorry if I have alienated the few viewers I had. Now that no one is dropping by to read a dead blog, I figure now is a good time to update anyone interested.
I have been going to playgrounds every day, exploring Wisconsin State Parks, going to the beach, flying kites, going to the discount store down the street because it's just like the one I used to go to when I was 7, going to outdoor concerts, sampling Milwaukee's micro brews, watching "Mythbusters," "Man vs. Wild," "Cash Cab," and "Baseball Tonight." I have also been to the Milwaukee Art Museum, Milwaukee Public Museum, the Milwaukee Public Library, the Aqua Lounge, Pizzeria Piccola, Steak N' Shake, the Public Market, and Polish Fest. I also have taught Isaac how to pee on the weeds. He now does this in front of people. In fact, he pulled down his pants in front of a party of about 20 or so medical students having a BBQ in their back yard. Classy. I just raised my beer can his way and gave him thumbs up. Hell, he's 3.

I need to start working on the job search, but I think it will be another week before I motivate myself to do it. I just reached the "I have been on vacation for almost a month and I am starting to live like Bill Clinton after the presidency" threshold, which means in a
few more weeks I should be waking up at three in the morning on the couch with chocolate all over my face, chest, and underwear with either a UFC Match, "Papillon," or "All the President's Men" on the tube.

I am kicking out ideas and drafting my course of action. I think the next week or two will involve some research and development. Summer here in Milwaukee has been nothing short of awesome so far. I need to get my camera back to document the people and places I have visited. I think I love this state. More on that in my upcoming posts.

Why I Love Milwaukee

I belong to a professional organization called United Adworkers. Here's the latest letter from the president:
The other day I was thinking,
what if someone introduced a
product called Brand X. You
know, the brand that
continuously gets its ass kicked
in those side-by-side TV
commercials. It never makes
your shirts whiter. It doesn't
fight cavities. It never makes a
better pie crust. So what would
happen if someone actually
"reformulated" Brand X so it'd
actually win those head-to-head
competitions? That would be a
fun ad campaign to work on.
Talk about the ultimate missdirect.
It'd be like Charlie
Brown finally getting to kick
Lucy's football! Everyone has
heard of Brand X. So everyone
would buy it, right?
Or would they? Can you take
something that has a negative
perception and make it great in
the eyes of consumers? Or take
something that is at best
mediocre and make it better?
Consider AirTran and its efforts
to take over Midwest Airlines.
As a brand, Midwest Airlines has
set itself apart as unique in a
parody category. There's an
emotional connection to
Midwest that is personal and
positive. That's the definition of
a strong brand: the sum total of
all the emotions you have about
a certain company.
AirTran, not so much. In my
book they are Brand X.
Is it just me or do they remind
you of a middle-aged guy trying
to pick up the hottest woman in
the bar? "Hey baby, I love every
bone in your body -- especially
mine." She continues to spurn
his advances but he's just not
hearing it. All she wants is to be
left alone to enjoy her evening.
But he keeps working it,
dressed in a burgundy V-neck
sweater, his thick hairy chest
exposed along with all sorts of
gold chains. Thankfully his
Members Only jacket was left in
the car - probably a Buick.
So can a McCoy and a
Rockefeller ever find true love?
Rarely. Do you remember
Tombstone Pizza before Kraft
bought them?
Joseph Leonard, the President
of Atlanta-based AirTran
believes he can improve the
product. But what he's really
trying to do is improve Brand X.
Case in point: recently, he said
that because passengers love
the Midwest cookies so much,
AirTran will also offer cookies.
They won't be baked on the
plane, but they will be available.
Not baked on the plane? Hello,
McFly! That's precisely why
they are so special. What he
fails to understand is that
Midwest isn't just making
cookies on those flights - they're
making a brand. That sweet
aroma makes passengers feel
good. It makes them feel
positive. Secure even. When
I'm on a Midwest flight and I
look at the world from 30,000
feet, I see lakes, streams and a
beautiful landscape. When
Joseph Leonard views the world
from 30,000 feet he doesn't see
anything because his little
plastic window is closed.
As you can tell I don't want this
takeover to happen. While I
understand how it may be best
for all shareholders involved,
but I'm being selfish.
Milwaukee has tried forever to
establish its own identity.
Midwest Airlines in many ways
helps perpetuate our everimproving
image. This takeover
won't be good for Milwaukee
and it especially won't be good
for the local advertising and
design community. Yeah, we
have our little advertising and
design awards show every year
(incidentally, entries for the
Milwaukee 99 are due June 1st)
and we have our fun golf outing
(June 21th), but as marketing
professionals we try to help our
clients build and sustain their
brands. And this is one brand
worth keeping right here in
Milwaukee. You all know how
much I hate it when local
businesses hire out-of-town
agencies and design firms. But
I hate it even more when local
businesses become out-of-town
businesses.
There's a social consciousness to
being in advertising, a "do the
right thing" mentality that many
of us try to live by. That's one
reason this club gets
complements from all the
speakers and judges who come
into town. We are not always
about our own egos, we're about
what's right.
Protecting great brands is right.
Keeping them in Milwaukee is
even more critical. To our success
as a city, and as an industry.
Midwest Airlines is a great brand.
It would be a shame if the people
in the community of creating
great brands didn't do something
to show support.
By way of this, the entire
Adworkers board is asking for
your help. Go to
SaveTheCookie.com. Sign the
petition, buy a t-shirt and let your
voice be heard.
Do the right thing. Help save our
hometown airline. Don't let
Brand X win.

--Prez Hanneken

My Hierarchy of Work

1. family
Does this occupation allow me to spend a reasonable amount of time away from work with my family?

2. philosophy/environment
What is this company's philosophy and does it fit with mine? Do I believe in it? Is the work environment engaging and supportive? Are there like-minded individuals working there to support the common cause?

3. pay/benefits
Not rocket science here. I just want to make enough to live in a decent neighborhood with decent schools, and a chance to put my children through school, as well as retire with some sort of grace. Nothing more than middle-class, which is disappearing.

4. learning/discovery
Does this position posses the opportunity to learn and discover new things from time to time?

5. position/duties/opportunity
If I do great work, will I be rewarded with career advancement opportunities and increasing responsibilities? Will I at some point have a greater role in the larger undertaking? Is this a collaborative venture?

6. location
Similar concerns to question #1. Will I have to travel far? Will I have to spend a lot of time away from family?

7. human experience
At some point, you have to show me how your organization is committed to benefiting the human experience. This usually means that places like Wal-Mart, Target, Coca-Cola, and other retail-centered businesses are off-limits for me. I don't care how much they contribute to charity, their bottom line is the bottom line, and nothing more. I have to feel like I am in some way directly or indirectly benefiting the people of the world with my work. It's just a larger-picture mentality I have. That's why working for ClimateCrisis, Plug-In America, Bruce Mau Design, the Walker Art Center, or my local Co-Op is far more desirable to me than Target.


*image courtesy of shifting creations.

Quotes

The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less
than you settled for.
-Maureen Dowd

The possible ranks higher than the actual.
-Martin Heidegger

We Sold Our House On Craig's List

It happened.

It actually happened.

We sold out house with nothing more than a sign and a craig's list posting. The closing happened today, the proceeds wired into our bank account. It was easy. So easy. I actually had a harder time canceling my Earthlink account.

It seems so final now, and I already miss our old place. My new job isn't a good fit for me, so I am going to put in my two-weeks notice and take a month off to spend with Isaac. We have the cash to pay for a few months of rent (not including the money from the house sale), and Isaac is at the perfect age. He's 3, and I feel like he's so awesome to be with, I can't pass up this opportunity. Sorry folks, you just don't get this time back. Ever.