It's Oscar Week!

Once again, Oscar time has crept up on me. This is usually an eventful week, culminating in our annual Oscar party. Since the 1990s, a group of close friends have put on a party to watch the Oscars, with all guests required to dress as a nominee, either (preferably) in character or as the real person attending. We are going to the annual bash in Chicago for the weekend and will be reporting on events being held there throughout the weekend, culminating in the Sunday evening party held at the Voss/McCool theater.

As part of the festivities, I will be leading up to the big weekend by posting some random thoughts on the nominees (and those who got robbed, mugged, and stabbed in the back in broad daylight by the Academy). So be sure to check back regularly to read my hilarious, witty, insightful, soulful and thoroughly authoritative glimpse into the art of last year's films.

My Wife is a Genius

I found this out Sunday. Actually, I knew it before, but it was on full display on this particular day (and no—I'm not just posting this because she mentioned to me that I never write about her—although she'll never really know for sure. It's because this is significant news). As we sat down for our afternoon cocaine binge (because, you know, cocaine is cool), she said "I have a plan. When my classes are over in May, Isaac and I are going back to Indiana, so I can look for full-time work while you stay behind and work and get the house ready for sale." Brilliant. Her school isn't giving her any more significant courses for the rest of the year (significant as in income), because they'd have to give her full-time benefits. So why should she look for full-time work here if we want to move?

This gives me the opportunity to fully pimp out the house without the usual obstacles to my efficiency, like telling my son to put some pants on, chasing him down to get the fillet knife out from between his teeth (he likes playing pirate), pulling his head out of the oven, blocking the dumping of certain hot wheels down the toilet, etc. Also, my current employ will at least keep some checks rolling in, while she looks for that sweet full time printmaking gig that pays mucha moolah. Or waiting tables at the Claddagh, whichever is available. This also pleases her parents (and mine) so much that they will bend over backwards to help out, and I can tell you firsthand that sort of support is really nice to have. Doing this without help is no fun. So we have it all planned out.

Hopefully, something opens up. I am going to keep my eyes on openings for her, even though when I find one I think she's totally qualified for, she gives me "The Look," which is similar to "The Manning Face," and says "Since when am I a qualified MIG Welder?" Good point. Maybe I don't know what exactly she's qualified to do, but hey, if the job sounds cool...

Either way, when May & June roll around, I hope the house will be sold and I will be making the voyage down I-94 East through Wisconsin. Preferably with a sweet job offer.

Come on, big money—No Whammies! I know someone out there in Indy needs a sweet designer. Come on----call me! I know you're out there! Come on dog, you know you need me!