Inventions I Would Buy, Part II

An at-home coffee roaster. Buy your beans in bulk, roast them at home.

New Inventions I'd Like To Buy

1. Some sort of reusable "tap" - with a short tube - that you could pierce the side of a gallon of milk with, enabling my son to open the fridge and fill his cup without having to pick up the gallon and spill 6-8 ounces of it on the counter and floor.
2. A short, highly directional EMP gun that you could point to an offending electronic device (your landlord's stereo upstairs, annoying cell phone used by guy in restaurant, etc.) and discharge a short burst of energy, either temporary disabling the unit or frying the circuitry altogether, depending on the dial setting you have on the unit. The unit would also have a highly-defined energy path, which you could customize to provide a "technology-free zone " in your house, backyard, etc.