12/28/07

The Popcorn Conversation








A co-worker and I had a half-hour talk the other day about popcorn. It stemmed from an earlier conversation we had about it, which sounds weird. I told my co-worker about how I have not had microwave popcorn for 5 or 6 years because we got an air popper as a gift in '01, and then told him about some factory workers getting lung disease from the powdered "flavoring" used in the bags.

Then a few days later, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinal ran an article about the dangers of microwave popcorn and how ConAgra dropped the dangerous chemical!! That spurned the half-hour conversation about it. Don't get me started on ConAgra. They have a laundry list of lawsuits and a criminal-like history of sociopathic behavior. That's a subject for another post. But back to popcorn, how dangerous is this flavoring chemical to the casual consumer?

We couldn't believe that someone in Colorado who ate two bags a day for ten years had the same lung damage as the popcorn plant workers!! What??!! Unbelievable!! Who knew that stuff was that bad?? Furthermore, who eats two bags of popcorn a day for ten years?? That's the real question. Popcorn? I mean, I could see even one bag a day, but Jesus man, put it down for a while.

It's best to go old-school, buy the corn kernels from a small outfit and air pop them. Just pretend it's 1983 and you just put in the rented tape of E.T. in the VCR and you're totally stoked about the miracle of rented movies.

Bushhand

This is a new term I invented. It pertains to the shorthand Bush often talks in.

Example: "The taking of a life – to save a life – is unethical."

Bushhand for: "The taking of a life – to save a life – is unethical. Unless it is a war, military campaign, police action, or negligence by a corporate multinational, or anything else Rumsfeld tells me is o.k. That's right, I still call him for advice. Man, a grilled reuben sounds real good about now."